my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize