Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Randomize