she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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