So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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