that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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