Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
