Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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