New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
