you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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