HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
