How'd it feel making her break her religion?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
