dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
