remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You're a waste of cheezeits
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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