Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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