Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
