her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
