you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
