My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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