My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
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