Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
