My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
