Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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