His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
We need a shit load of segways right now
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
