Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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