And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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