someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
