I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
