Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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