You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
