This is not my ceiling
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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