Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
