dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
