It's Friday. Sex?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize