just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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