Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
