She's JV to your varsity
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
