Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
