Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize