I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You took a bar mat shot.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
