Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
