it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
