Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
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