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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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