if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
