What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
