The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
