im drinking this country out of the recession.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
