Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
