3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
