What a fucking waste of an outfit
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
