so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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