it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
