Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
