He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
My hand turned me down
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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