My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
