Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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