Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
