I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
