I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
