D3 body, D1 cock
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
