The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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