How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
