READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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