i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
