Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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