what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
