and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize