apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
