evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
